HeRMaNaToR 05: it all started in 10 AD, when jesus was beat up on the playground. they made fun of his name, i mean who names their kid jesus. so billy joe bob and jack fucked him up good
XxxVicTOrMArkxXX: its all the same story
HeRMaNaToR 05: then when jesus went to high school, he wasnt doing that great in his enviromental science class, because he kept losing his book. this pissed off joseph and mary when he brought home his report card and they saw a d
XxxVicTOrMArkxXX: not good
HeRMaNaToR 05: jesus was disappointed as prom neared and he was without a date. he woefully stayed home and played atari in his basement.
XxxVicTOrMArkxXX: was it THAT long ago?
HeRMaNaToR 05: yeah, did i mention jesus often listened to devo and duran duran?
XxxVicTOrMArkxXX: and Ahha?
HeRMaNaToR 05: no jesus wasnt a big fan, but j.c. really liked bon jovi.
XxxVicTOrMArkxXX: but then again who didn't?
HeRMaNaToR 05: anyway back to the story
XxxVicTOrMArkxXX: the bible(danny style)
HeRMaNaToR 05: in a turmoil of twisted events bad grades and a strict upbringing, he dropped out of high school and was kicked out of the townhouse. with no place to go, he found an apartment in upstate new york and worked at a record store, buying and selling records.
HeRMaNaToR 05: pretty soon 8-tracks drove jesus out of the industry.
HeRMaNaToR 05: jesus met a friend at the record store. his name was abraham and jesus was like. :dude, i need a place to crash cuz my old man kicked me out". and abraham was all like "fine, you can sleep on the futon"
XxxVicTOrMArkxXX: futon? explain?
HeRMaNaToR 05: (pronounced FOO TAHN)
HeRMaNaToR 05: (fold out bed)
HeRMaNaToR 05: ok continuing
HeRMaNaToR 05: so j.c and abe became pretty good friends. they got some chicks over like veronica. they were having the best time of their lives.
HeRMaNaToR 05: well, with 8-tracks around jesus and abraham had to go seperate ways to find jobs. they never met again. jesus found a job at the i-hop in upstate. the pay was decent but jesus really didnt like serving pancakes that much.
XxxVicTOrMArkxXX: but who would?
HeRMaNaToR 05: then jesus was looking through the sunday paper and saw an ad for tae bo lessons. j.c. looked in the mirror and remembered his past about being bullied by joe jack and bob and wanted to be strong so he can find them and kick their asses.
XxxVicTOrMArkxXX: go JC!
HeRMaNaToR 05: so jesus was heading to the tae bo place and was jumped by a gang called the tigers. the tigers mugged him and took them back to their place.
HeRMaNaToR 05: and the leader of the tigers, tyrone was like "hey we see u workin at ihop and u dont give us enough syrup, crackhead. so we gonna kill u" and a fellow gang member, ziggy was like "how we gonna kill him?" and tyrone was like "well we gonna make a big t out of wood for tigers so everyone gets the point not to mess with the tigers"
HeRMaNaToR 05: so they did that in a sparse part of upstate new york and a bunch of people watched and shit.
HeRMaNaToR 05: the end